Dave Barry's Colonoscopy

There's a recurring pattern in the Unknown Household: I read something that I think is split-my-sides funny. I share it with the Unknown Wife. Then, she give me the kind of exasperated, mildly disgusted look that shows once again that men and women are from different universes.

This piece by humorist Dave Barry is the latest installment in the continuing series. He describes the events up to and including his finally getting a colonoscopy at age 60. And since anything related to (as Barry puts is) "the behindular region" is fertile grounds for guy humor, I just have to share it with y'all. The funniest part (and the one that actually did get a chuckle out of the Unknown Wife) was his description of the laxative they gave him beforehand, called MoviPrep. We gave something similar (Called "GoLightly", which shows that the maker didn't believe in truth in advertising) to the Unknown Son before his surgery. So, we can relate. Here's the best part:

I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

Read the whole thing here. (HT: Newmark's Door)

If you're of an age and haven't had a colonoscopy, get one (I will this year). But don't show this to your wife unless you want to get a very strange look.

Hopefully The Last In a Series

I hope this doesn't jinx things, but the latest round of Zithromax seems to have had a good effect on the pneumonia. Good thing, 'cuz I have multiple coauthors clamoring for attention. So with luck, I can get back to being somewhat productive.

Today's an exam day, so it's an easy one for me. Unfortunately, the grading comes later, which is my least favorite part of the job (that, and committee meetings). But the rest of the day is carved out for working on a rewrite of a 45 page paper. Woo hoo!


Hopefully, this will be the last of the "I'm still sick" posts for a while.

Still On The Mend

Just Damn.

At the beginning of the week, I still had mild fevers (about 101.5-102), coughing fits, and lots of wonderful stuff coming up from my lungs. So, I went back to the Doc. I told her that I'm really not stalking her (hey - she's young and cute, so at least there's some payoff to these visits), but that I was hoping that it's like a coffee shop where every tenth visit is free.

I finally had an X-Ray done, and there's a significant amount of goop (at least, I think that's the technical term for it) in my lower lungs. The actual diagnosis? It's either viral pneumonia that hasn't resolved yet or bacterial pneumonia that the first does of antibiotics (Levaquin) didn't quite knock out. So, it's on to a second round of antibiotics (Zithromax this time). If it's the first case, the antibiotics will keep anything else from growing there, and if it's the second, this additional dose should do the trick.

Doc said that Zithromax has the unfortunate downside of causing "some lower GI effects" (i.e. diarrhea). I'm hoping it'll cancel out the constipation caused by the codeine based cough suppressant I'm taking (sorry - that's a clear case of WAY too much information). So with luck, they'll cancel each other out. Yeah, right.

It's been three days since I started the new regimen, and I felt much better this morning. With luck, I'll be back to my old self. I was hoping for better, but I guess I can live with that.