Happy Thanksgiving

Here's wishing a Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours from the Unknown Family. We've got a great, great many things to be thankful for - job, family, health, living situation, etc...). For now, we're off to the Unknown Sister-in-Law's house to engage in some extreme eating - three sisters in the family, and all (and Grandma, too) are great cooks.

Now go overdose on Tryptophan.

We Voted

The Unknown Family just went to the polls and voted. Unknown Son went into the booth with me, and Unknown Daughter went in with the Unknown Wife. We let our kids fill out the ballots (they were paper ones), and then feed them into the machine.

It's pretty cool explaining how our political system works to an 8 year old and a ten year old. This year, I think I'll start working through the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights with them - it's never too early, and most people (myself included) don't know enough about these foundations of our country.

A Hectic Couple of Weeks

It's been a crazy couple of weeks. Some good, some bad. But crazy, nonetheless.

About two weeks ago, I went to the FMA annual meeting in Dallas (it was great, by the way). I managed to connect with a lot of old friends, and also made a few new ones.

While I was there, I started a couple of new projects. Without going into too much detail, I think I've figured out a very creative way to use a data set in a new way. Just before FMA, I started a paper with a couple of grad school classmates that uses this data. While doing it, I realized a slew of different applications for the data and methodology.

In short, it's data that's typically used by researchers in one sub-field of finance, but I think it can be used to answer a number of corporate finance research questions. The data's pretty ugly, so it took a while to get it under control. But now that I've got a handle on it, I have more ideas to use it for than I have time to implement. So, I was looking for coauthors who could help out. Luckily, I have a lot of friends, so there were people willing to listen to the idea(s). As a result, I now have three new projects. They may be garbage and I might be totally deluded that this is a good idea, but I don't think so (or at least, I hope not).

Once I got back, I bought a "new" (to me) used car, taught in our evening MBA program one night and then twice in a neighboring city in a professional program, and had two family health problems.

Unknown Son had his surgical port removed (now that he's done with chemo, he no longer needs it, and it is a risk for infection). Unfortunately, what should have been a fairly straightforward half-day affair ended up with him staying overnight at the hospital due to some complications (he's fine now, by the way). Then, the next day Unknown Daughter came down with an intestinal bug that resulted in output from both ends.

Ah well - parenthood involves a lot of bodily fluids, I guess.

In any event, I'm now giving an exam to my evening MBA class. Hey - I have to kill the 2 1/2 hours sometime, eh?

What Do You Give A Guy For His 50th Birthday?

I just turned 50 this weekend (insert codger joke here). So, Unknown Wife and I got a sitter and went out to eat some sushi and see The Dark Knight.

But after church today, we stopped by a Learning Express (basically a place with educational toys). Right there on the shelves was a Water Balloon slingshot (in case you're wondering, here's a link to a similar model). When we got home, I got my neighbor who lives three doors down to help me out and started launching balloons down the street and over the trees. We soon had the Unknown Daughter and the neighbor's three sons try to catch water balloons we launched from about 60-80 yards away.

Back in college we used to make a similar contraption called a "Funnellator" by attaching surgical rubber tubing to a funnel. We used it to launch water balloons (and other, far more disgusting things) almost 200 yards with our deluxe model. It surprising how many other contemporaries had similar experiences. In fact, a member of the advisory board for our student-managed investment fund once told me (after a few beers) that he's used a Funnellator to launch a sheep's brain (yes, you heard me right, a sheep's brain - he was a Biology major before he switched to Finance) almost 150 yards to land in at the front-door of one of the sororities' houses.

My neighbor and I are thinking about modifications to the store-bought model to see if we can bring it up to code. After all, you never know when the development down the street might try to attack us. We might bring the engineering professor down the street into the loop to see if we can make something more automated.

Preparedness is all.

The Day My Butt Went Psycho

No, this is not a post about gastrointestinal difficulties.

Today's Wall Street Journal has an interesting story about a new trend in books for boys. It turns out that they don't like to read as much as girls, unless it involves stuff that's gross or at least somewhat inappropriate (real news flash there, eh?). Hence the title of this post. It's the title of a new children's book by Zack Freeman. Here's the description from Amazon:

Zack Freeman is ready to tell his story...the story of a brave young boy and his crazy runaway butt. The story of a crack butt-fighting unit called the B-team, a legendary Butt Hunter's formidable daughter, and some of the ugliest and meanest butts ever to roam the face of the Earth. A story of endurance that takes Zack on an epic journey across the Great Windy Desert, through the Brown Forest, and over the Sea of Butts before descending into the heart of an explosive buttcano to confront the biggest, ugliest, and meanest butt of them all!It's a story you and your butt will never forget!

Another book the article mentions is "Sir Fartsalot Hunts the Booger" by Kevin Bolger.

So boys like off-kilter, gross, and tasteless stuff. Who could have known? Of course, when I brought up the article at the breakfast table, Unknown Wife thought it was inappropriate and tasteless. I, on the other hand, when right over to the computer and ordered the books from our library for the Unknown Son. He's pretty excited about themsince he's just about done with his latest in the Captain Underpants series.

Meanwhile, Unknown Daughter is reading Fairytopia. Thus speaks the chromosomal divide.

Happy Independence Day

A happy July 4th to all the Financial Rounds readers out there.

Start by reading the Declaration of Independence here. Then, to get a good feel for the costs born by the Signers of the Declaration, read this (there are a number of versions of it floating around the Internet, and it's been attributed originally to Paul Harvey, but this one is as good as any).

Finally go spend time with family, friends, grill some meat, and light off some fireworks. And if there's apple pie (See above) or baseball involved, so much the better.

As for the Unknown Family, I'm going for a "quick" 20 mile bike ride, followed by our spending the day spent at a family friend's house. We'll have all the essentials - a passel of kids, a grill with lots of critters to cook, various fruit, potato, and pasta salads, a hot tub to hang out in, and fireworks at the park just down the street.

update: the ride went well, Unknown Son was feeling well enough to play with the other kids for about 2 1/2 hours straight in the hot tub (it quickly became the "kiddie pool, so we didn't fire it up above merely warm), and there was plenty of food to be had. The little man is over his recent bout of chemo-induced nausea and vomiting of the recent post, but he still got tired out quickly. So, we left early (we anticipated this, so we took separate cars) and we're now settling in for a little Tom and Jerry action before bed (we believe in a classical education in the Unknown Household - Tom and Jerry, the Three Stooges, Bugs Bunny, etc...).

I suspect Unknown Daughter and Unknown wife will show up around 11 or so. So a happy 4th once again to all.

I'm Baaaaaaack!

Sorry for the lack of posting lately - it's been a crazy week. But then, lately they all seem like crazy weeks. We survived last week without any need for trips to the emergency room, or grandparents getting injured, but there was still more to come in the Unknown Household.

I woke up last Saturday with my back severely out of whack - my lower back was in a knot, and it hurt to do just about anything other than sit (or lie) completely still). This continued until Monday, when I saw my doctor. She adjusted my sacrum (no, she's not a chiropractor, but she still was able to do it), gave me some very strong muscle relaxants, and told me I need to do more stretching.

On Wednesday my back felt much better so I took the Unknown Son to the Clinic for the routine follow up scans for his original cancer (although he's in remission from the neuroblastoma, he still has scans every six months just in case). Then it was off to the neighboring state for a charity golf tournament my sister and husband started as a means of raising money for neuroblastoma research (their son died of the cancer last year).

Since some relatives on Unknown Wife's side were visiting, she and the kids decided to stay over so that they could visit with family. So, I've almost two full days to myself (they arrive back at the unknown household late Saturday night). I've gotten a fairly good amount of work done (even sent an article out to a journal) and slept in past 9:00 both Friday and Saturday (hey - when you have young kids, sleeping in is a rare occasion)

In any event, it's a beautiful, warm, sunny Saturday afternoon, and I'm SITTING AT MY OFFICE DESK WORKING ON RESEARCH.

Ah well, such is the life of an untenured professor.

Another Week In the Unknown Household

Another week gone by, with the usual ups and downs.

Last week's Friday the 13th episode continued the next day with a phone call from the Unknown Elder Brother to tell me that my mother (age 78) had caught her foot on a rug, fell, and broke her hip. So, we packed ourselves into the car and drove the 80 miles to the adjoining state and to my hometown to see her after she got out of surgery.

The next day, we got another phone call to tell us that she was disoriented and having difficulty speaking. We though a stroke was a possibility, but it resolved itself in quick order, and turned out to be just a reaction to the anesthetic. So now she's in rehab for the next three weeks.

The following day, we got the Shrek-quality toxic waste out of the car (detailing was well worth it), followed by the kids having their last day of school before summer vacation.

The remainder of the week passed without incident, and turned out to be a pretty good one as far as research went. The programming for one project has turned out to be a bit of a hairball (the measure I'm constructing to measure analyst performance is not behaving well). I'll figure out what's the problem, but for now, I'll getting a bit sick of it.

So, I put it aside for a few days to work on another project. I'm looking forward to this one for a couple of reasons: first, because it's with two classmates from graduate school. Second, because it's using a relatively new dataset (I have another paper using the same data set in progress, but one of my coauthors got extremely sick, and we're putting it on the shelf until he recovers). And finally, I just think it;s a pretty good idea. The initial results look as good as any I've seen in recent projects, and overall, it looks like it has the potential (if the results hold up) to be the makings of a really good study.

Then I got preliminary results on another study (with another new coauthor) that also look pretty good. So, this almost makes up for the multiple rejections last week. Hey - it's all part of the game.

What makes both projects kind of interesting is that they both use either a data set or an approach that was initially tried in another project or projects that didn't work out. However, they did give me some ideas for other projects which seem to be coming together.

Finally, we have a minor guest infestation starting tomorrow (the Unknown Wife's college roommate is in town for a couple of days). So, while she madly cleans the house, I took the Unknown Kids to see the Incredible Hulk. They didn't understand a lot of it, but 9-foot tall hyper-thyroidal, muscle-bound savages that like to fight and throw things (like cars) translate to all ages pretty well.

Friday The Thirteenth Hits the Unknown Household

I'm not superstitious, but sometimes you have to wonder. Here's a Friday the Thirteenth play in five acts

Act 1:
We go to Unknown Son's regular chemo treatment (he's now on a once every three week schedule). While Unknown Wife and U.S. were taking care of the chemo, I took Unknown Daughter to an outside garden that's part of the hospital. She starts running around (U.D. has a LOT of energy), promptly falls, and badly skins both knees, her chin, and her forehead (it was a pretty impressive fall). The one bright spot in this episode there's no better spot to skin your knees than at a hospital.

ACT 2: The fall
That night, we get home and U.W. goes on a walk with a neighbor. While I'm upstairs changing to get ready for my bike ride, I hear a thump followed by a moan. I run downstairs to see U.D. sprawled across the stairs moaning. Apparently, she'd slipped on the stairs while walking down and landed hard. The edge of the stairs nailed her right in the back (across the floating ribs). I carried her to the couch and all she could do was gasp in pain, unable to take a full breath. At this point Unknown Wife gets back, and we decide to take her to the emergency room to get her ribs x-rayed.

ACT 3: Projectile Vomiting
Since it was almost 7:30, we decided to take both cars -- U.W. took U.D. and U.S. in the SUV, and I followed in the old beater my kids refer to as "the stinky car" (a 1993 Honda civic with 150,000 miles on it (but it's paid for). That way, I I can be there to help out, and UW can leave
Epilogue: sore back, US is fine, car needs detailing, and UW can leave early with US if there's a need to stay for a while. The hospital's close (about 6 miles), but halfway there, I see U.W. pull over into a parking lot and open the rear passenger door. It seems U.S. announced "I have a headache and I feel sick". This was followed immediately by extreme chemo-induced vomiting. Of course, we forgot his basin, there was not enough warning to get the door open, so the back to our SUV is now covered in Shreck-worthy quantities of vomit.

We transfer him to my car and follow U.W. and U.D. to the ER.

ACT 4: Two for the Price of one
While on the way to the ER, we have to stop three more times for U.S. to empty the remaining contents of his stomach. Once at the ER, he continues vomiting (once it starts, he gets into a cycle). So, while U.D. is waiting to get X-rayed, we have him admitted to get fluids and Zophran (an anti-nausea medication).

ACT 5: The aftermath
Unknown Daughter was given a clean bill of health (it was only a bruise), so I took her home at approximately midnight. Once there, I cleaned the SUV as best I could (that's why I got to go home earlier). Meanwhile, Unknown Wife stayed with Unknown Son until the fluids and Zofran took effect, and crawled home at 1:30.

By next morning, both kids were fine. And it'll only cost about $200 to have the SUV detailed (believe me - after this episode, this is definitely a job for a professional).

Oh, and Unknown Daughter has a mild case of paraskevidekatriaphobia.

Great Reading List Of Children's Books

The Unknown Kids are both voracious readers. Not only that, but they know what "voracious" means, and how the word is connected to the words "carnivore", "herbivore", and "omnivore". And that's pretty good for a first grader and a third grader (hey, I have to spend at least a little time bragging on the Unknown Progeny).

So, if you have your own young bibliovore in the house, here's a great list of children's books from Theresa Fagan. She also writes:

The most serious battle going on in this country is over the souls of our children. It is impossible to exaggerate the power of the image to form or deform the way they think. It is crucial to arm them with heroes that make virtue attractive. This will entail exercising your God-given authority, but that’s what it’s for.

For starters, get the TVs and computers out of their bedrooms, and drastically curtail their use. Cut the plugs if you have to. Then, stock the house with good books.

When they’re bored, they will read.

A lady after my own heart.

HT: Craig Newmark, who finds a lot of stuff I can steal.

Happy Memorial Day

Here's to a Happy Memorial Day to all of you and yours. The Unknown Kids and I are planning on going to a parade in the morning, the zoo in the afternoon (hey - monkeys are cool), and picking up the Unknown Wife (from her Girl's Weekend in Chicago), at the airport in the evening.

Please, take a minute to thank a current or past service member for their service.

Since this makes it the third year in a row, I guess it's now officially a Financial Rounds tradition that I put up a link to Ronald Reagan's classic "The Boys of Pointe du Hoc" speech. He gave it to commemorate the 40th anniversary of D-Day (compliments of American Rhetoric).